I’d hesitated to share the “hard” stories of my corporate days.
I didn’t want to create the impression that the life was forced to change because something was wrong.
I loved my job.
I had an upward trending career.
I had managers who fully trusted me and gave me space of maximum autonomy.
I was living my teenager dream, being part of fashion.
As far as a career went, I had nothing to complain.
By default, I signed myself up for
Demanding working pace and hours;
Competitive environment for performance;
Constant comparison of everything and nothing;
Sacrifice rest and self-nurture for advancement;
I wore the sure prescription of burnouts with pride.
I could have burned out many times over by the way I burned my body and energy since age 14.
Oh yes, by all means, this mentality didn’t start from the corporate days.
I was habitually stayed up till 3 am or even fell asleep on my desk at dawn to do extra exercises on math and science as I was really terrible at them. They could easily strike me out from a chance in the top university.
Yet, the burnout didn’t show until I was ready.
Of course,
I wasn’t aware of my choice in this lifestyle was going to take a serious toll.
I wasn’t aware that I was ready to pay my toll until I allowed, not fully voluntarily, to crumble.
I had heard the voice telling me that I couldn’t go on in that ever-expanding lifestyle years before it.
I knew some changes and decisions had to be made but I held on to that lifestyle for the money, for the entertainment, for the fame and for the fear of giving up my teenager dream.
As a friend put so wisely,
💎 Each reality is here to serve a purpose until it isn’t.
Until a point that life didn’t serve me anymore. I fell out of alignment with
the luxury/fashion industry.
that city, fast-paced lifestyle.
my competitive nature.
I’d been but I was no more.
Hence, I made a pledge to guide me to experience the opposite (well, after 5 years, I got something else to tell).
This was an extreme and drastic pledge and small-scale shifts simply wouldn’t do it.
I crumbled to the ground and deeper.
I set fire to burn away field as far as my energy can touch.
I dug dip into the dirt layers after layers.
So that I could rebuild everything.
💎 I did whatever was required of me to build a new reality that served me.
I am owning my responsibility of this terrible and yet, rewarding experience.
Maybe you would need a terrible experience to finally see your current reality isn’t serving you.
Maybe you would tap into your inner wisdom to take the turn, the leap, the jump before hit by it.
💎 Nothing can get you if you are not ready.
Be love and be loved.
.
➡️ Do you currently feel being blind-sided by something you don’t feel ready for?
➡️ What if you are actually ready?
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(This is how I showed after several days of 4- hrs of sleep back then. I curled my own hair!)