In my last letter, I mentioned that after coming out of 3-week dense energy, one of the first thing I did was say NO to something I so desired and had been preparing for since beginning of March.
I really want to go on an intensive retreat hosted by one of my coaches on Maui Island.
There are simply so many to say YES to this opportunity.
YES to traveling to a new place and surfing spot. (Yes, playing is very much on top of my mind all the time.)
YES to the beach and ocean. (Gosh, I haven’t been in sea water for 4+ months now.)
YES to be around and meet powerful, successful, authentic and loving people. (The kind of people who will be there is simply irristable.)
YES to meet my coach in person. (If I could make so many shifts and create more clients simply by being in his community for 2 months, imagine what I will create in and after the retreat!)
YES to new experience. (Never been in a retreat so why not?!)
Yet, I needed to create USD 8K+ additional fund to make this decision physically possible in 2 months.
This is definitely a stretch and I am giving my hardest, including the pauses.
The retreat is at mid May and I am still falling short.
Right upon coming out of this round of energy swirl, it just happened that my coach sent me a check in message, asking whether I would be at the retreat.
Of course he knew I didn’t sign up yet.
Of course I knew this was part of the follow up.
I got nervous.
➡️ Have you been in the situation that you want something so much that it irritates you even greater when someone checks in with you on the status?
Well, ok. I wasn’t irritated.
I felt ashamed and inadequate
for not having this cash flow lying around to be spent right away;
for not being already in a phase of business where generates $10K a month was a piece of cake;
for not being able to say YES to someone I admire and respect;
for not being “the best student in the class”.
There was a part of my imagination ran wild, telling me how poorly I would be judged by this coach, which I knew would never happen.
Then, 100 reasons of explanations ran through my mind to justify for falling short.
Then and there, my better and wiser self asked the right question,
“A no is a no. Nothing more. Why do you need to explain? What are you afraid of?”
I replied, “No, I am not there yet.”
Now, I can focus on keep creating.
Creating the fund.
Creating non-attachment.
Creating a space for my physical reality to catch up with my energetic reality. (My spirit is already on Maui. I can smell it, feel it, smile at it and more!)
Most importantly, I am creating a belief in myself that I am always giving what I love my all.
I’ve been saying NO or very cautious with YES since 2021.
The more I am willing to say NO, the more I got to create and influence.
But then, we need to rewind a bit more.
There were a phase in my life, especially when I just came out of my depression around 24, I had trained myself to radically say YES.
(I will leave this part for our next letter.)
➡️ How is this story of mine helpful for you?
Here is what I observed in high-achievers, corporate leaders and entrepreneurs alike,
1️⃣ You attract people and opportunities that “require” or “request” you in abundance by your reputation and capability to achieve
Maybe since school, your classmates fight for a spot in any group project with you.
Maybe you always have more than one offer to choose from any time you are looking for a new project or job.
Maybe people come to you with all sorts of request, inquiries and asks for help of all sorts.
Maybe other departments in the office will request you to be involved however remote the relation between you and that project.
2️⃣ You are wired to take on more on your plate and to keep an eye on that one thing will give a break in your career or business.
Pausing isn’t your gig, Doing is. Empty schedule makes your stomach churn and your mind anxious.
In the back of your mind or in the secret cave in your heart, you wish for a silver bullet that will fix your success once and for all. (because you would like to have an ultimate proof that you’re successful or/and an undeniable reason to finally put up your feet and rest.)
You are simply a loving, helpful person. You enjoy helping out, sharing experiences and impart wisdom.
When 1️⃣+2️⃣ the formula running most part of your life, guess what,
An unstoppable stream of YESes flows out of your mouth.
To a point that, you have absolutely –
No time for some areas in your life – your children, your spouse, your hobbies, your health, your personal growth…
No space for anything new to come in – though you have other ambitions, other plans, other needs, all you can do is tricking yourself into believing that one more thing; then, freedom / rest / play.. is attainable.
At the beginning of this year, a guiding line from another mentor was,
“Can you say no when things feel right so that something bigger can have space to come in for you?”
🪄 The magic you can create today is🪄
🌈 What do you need to say NO to so that more YESes can come?
🌈 Are you willing to say NO so that YOUR magic has space to happen?
There is a Mary in every one of us.
So, say no, say no, say no more. Will you?
Be love and be loved,
Shuang-Min
P.S. Do you know anyone in your life is overwhelmed by endless to-do, project and responsibilities and s/he may benefit from this letter?
👉🏽 FORWARD this letter to him/her as a support.
🌿 P.P.S. If you’re at a crossroads of YES and NO in your life or work – navigating pressure, desire, and inner truth – I’d love to hold space with and for you.
Let’s drop into the deeper why behind your choices and what’s ready to shift.
🔗[Book a Love. Discover Call]
Let’s explore what’s unfolding for you.
😎 P.P.P.S. Here is a photo where I said NO but the YES changed the game! (and the chaos in the kitchen on that day.)
Hi, I am Shuang-Min.
