I sat down on the floor in my room and sorted through my old make-ups and went shopping for new eye colors and all three days ago.
It has been 4+ years me walking around without make up on.
I immersed in wearing full make-up after all these times.
“I am creating faces.” A notion came to mind.
It was an armor.
Through 20s & most 30s, I couldn’t leave the house without makeup. It wasn’t just about beauty — it was a shield, a carefully crafted face that made me feel safe, powerful, and in control.
Underneath, I held the belief that my bare skin wasn’t enough, that my unfiltered self wasn’t worthy of being seen. Through make-up, I could finally project a self who is confident and successful – a superwoman who had it all.
To an extend that I had to spend 30 mins to put on make-up before I went for grocery shopping in the neighborhood. I had to feel that sense and projection of self all the time.
You see, no amount of titles, money, branded clothes and international travels can give me that lasting sense of strength and self-worth. Make up was simply another external layer I used to seal the insecurity within myself.
It was an annoyance to myself, not being able to let go.
When I wanted to feel in control, I was actually under control of something I used to feel in control.
Fashion industry simply gave an illusion to normalize this part of me.
I had to strip it away…
For the gym.
The shift began subtly. I hesitated — should I wear makeup and risk it running down my face, or go bare and feel exposed? It was a small, almost laughable identity crisis.
But the more I went without makeup, the more I realized something profound: I was okay. I wasn’t unsafe. I wasn’t less of myself.
I was as confident and successful.
I was as in control (of myself) and beautiful.
Slowly, I started listing occasions where make-up was not a required part of attire.
A quick trip to the grocery store, a morning coffee run — small, but game changing towards witness myself and a layer of self-acceptance. (and later realized I was even more beautiful in many ways)
Each time, I discovered that my sense of self wasn’t crumbling without the mask. It was expanding.
I leaned into the power of rawness.
Then, life led me to a small village by the sea, where the sun, water, and wind made makeup impractical.
The deeper layers of insecurity, attachment to outsourcing my worth and old identities in a fixed way faded away for new explorations.
I wanted to experienced myself beyond the heels, the designer dresses, the polished image. I was ready to meet the version of me that existed without external adornments.
Oh, and how I love an Alchemy journey.
Here I am, putting on makeup again.
Not out of necessity, not as a shield, but as a choice.
Today, it felt like an art form, an expression of joy and a testament of all journeys taken.
Some things here are worth contemplating over.
🩷 How often do we create faces, identities, and personas to fit into different spaces?
In Chinese culture, there’s a legendary performance art called “changing faces,” where actors seamlessly shift masks within seconds.
Under those faces, there is ONE.
🩷 Who is that person underneath all the roles we play and faces we wear?
Do you know that person?
There are always times for shedding the old self so that we can BECOME.
There are then times for creating the new self so that we can BE.
There are also times we can finally draw the wisdom from the old without reliving the drama, the insecurity, the victimhood.
This is the time when all parts of “I”, the self, can come together freely, express in union through all events of life and finally, BEING.
I am creating the woman who feels powerful and amazing in heels and suits and well as the woman who radiate power and impact in flipflops and jean shorts.
I walk the sand barefoot as I walk on the cobble stone street in Sergio Rossi stilettos.
This is my invitation to you,
Let all parts of you be your power, not your own separation.
Who are you creating?
Hit Reply. I would love to know.
Be love and Be Loved.
P.S. If you are ready, here is how I can help.
1️⃣ 1:1 sessions
If you desire to understand all the identities in a subconscious level you wear and embrace all,
If you want to create life through the powerful ONE self,
Schedule a free Love. Discovery Call Here to find out what’s possible for you.
2️⃣ Book a Soul. Love. Whisper session Here
If you want to understand a deeper alignment with yourself, this is a channeling session to connect you with your higher self, a frequency of Love. You will receive a guidance book to help you to anchor the energy as well as practical action plans to start living in this frequency.
Hi, this is Shuang-Min.
